Wise Owls
Lemonwood bobbins with a painted 'Owl' motif,
in style B or C depending upon the length of the inscription.

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Over the years we have collected these 'Wise Owl' sayings from many sources; often from lacemakers themselves. Recently we have been introducing six new sayings every year and we have now reached 186.

The latest six are:
181. A fine is a tax for doing wrong; a tax is a fine for doing well.
182. I can do whatever I like so long as I do what I'm told.
183. I'm not a senior citizen, I'm a recycled teenager.
184. Middle age is when your legs buckle but your belt doesn't.
185. My memory is like antique lace - old, worn, intricate and with several threads snapped.
186. The older I get the better I used to be.

At lace events we attend we display the most recent popular twelve plus the six latest additions, as it is impractical to display them all. However all are still available or maybe you even have some sayings of your own.

So below is the full list of 186.

(To get the complete list of sayings go to 'Wise Owl List' and print your own copy.)

The sayings can be 'Americanised' if requested - eg. 'closets' can be substituted for 'cupboards' in No.49.
  1. A friend is someone who knows all about you...and likes you anyway.
  2. Age is a matter of mind; if you don't mind it doesn't matter.
  3. An immaculate home reflects a wasted life.
  4. I, being of sound mind spent all my money whilst I was alive.
  5. I keep trying to lose weight; unfortunately it keeps finding me.
  6. I may grow older but I'll never grow up.
  7. It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.
  8. It's nice to be important, but more important to be nice.
  9. Of all the things I've lost, it's my mind I miss the most.
  10. The best man for the job is a woman.
  11. There are no mistakes, only lessons.
  12. Those who can, do: those who can't, teach.

  13. A perfect example of minority rule is a baby in the house.
  14. A person who never makes a mistake, never makes anything.
  15. A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.
  16. God must have loved calories - He made so many of them.
  17. I'm very well balanced; I have a chip on both shoulders.
  18. Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.
  19. In the cookie of life, friends are the chocolate chips.
  20. Marriages are made in heaven, but so is thunder and lightning.
  21. Men are like wine, some turn to vinegar, but most improve with age.
  22. Money used to talk; now it just goes without saying.
  23. When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping.
  24. Wrinkles show where the smiles have been.

  25. Advice is what we ask for, when we know the answer, but wish we didn't.
  26. Age is not important unless you are vintage wine or cheese.
  27. Ask a teenager now, while they still have all the answers.
  28. Experience is what you get, when you don't get what you want.
  29. If you want something done, ask a busy person.
  30. I have simple tastes, I only like the best.
  31. Never economise on luxuries.
  32. Nobody's perfect! (with an upside down owl)
  33. The most worrying aspect of middle age, is that you'll grow out of it.
  34. Those of you who think you know everything are annoying to those of us who do.
  35. Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
  36. When all is said and done, more is said than done.

  37. Alcohol is the answer, but I can't remember the question.
  38. Forget the housework...I'm busy being creative.
  39. Friends are the best collectables.
  40. Home is where you can say what you like...nobody takes any notice of you anyway.
  41. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
  42. If things get better with age, then I'm approaching 'magnificent'.
  43. If you do something when you would otherwise be doing nothing, it takes no time at all.
  44. I try to take one day at a time, but lately several days have attacked me all at once.
  45. Learn from the mistakes of others...you can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
  46. Never return a kindness - pass it on.
  47. Square meals make round bodies.
  48. The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents; the second by our children.

  49. Behind every creative person are cupboards filled with good ideas.
  50. Be sure the brain is in gear before engaging the mouth.
  51. How to make a small fortune. Start with a large fortune, then take up lacemaking.
  52. If I'd known grandchildren were so much fun, I'd have had them first.
  53. It's been 'one of those days' all week.
  54. I want an hourglass figure, but time is running out.
  55. My aim in life is to live off last month's money, not next month's.
  56. Success is a matter of luck - ask any failure.
  57. The hurrier I go, the behinder I get.
  58. The modern convenience that can do the work of three men is called a woman.
  59. Treat age like the lottery, choose your number and stick to it.
  60. Weekends are like rainbows - get up close and they disappear.

  61. Creative mess is better than tidy idleness.
  62. I gave up health foods... at my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
  63. Life is too short to knit a sweater you don't like.
  64. The easiest thing to grow in the garden... is tired.
  65. When you're too busy for friends, you're too busy.
  66. Women who seek equality with men lack ambition.
  67. A short cut is the longest distance between two points.
  68. Creative people never grow old... they just get more bazaar.
  69. Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we diet.
  70. I have a photographic memory, but occasionally I leave the lens cap on.
  71. Little girls grow up; being a little boy is a job for life.
  72. Most men who go through life with an enquiring mind, don't appreciate her.

  73. Crime doesn't pay, neither does housework.
  74. Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
  75. If love is blind, marriage can certainly be an eye-opener.
  76. I'm not overweight, I'm just under height.
  77. I was cut out to be rich, but I was sewn up wrong.
  78. Sometimes I wake up grumpy... sometimes I let him sleep.
  79. Beautiful young people are works of nature; beautiful old people are works of art.
  80. Chocolate, coffee, men... some things are just better rich.
  81. I have champagne tastes, with a beer budget.
  82. It's hard to feel as fit as a fiddle when you're shaped like a 'cello.
  83. Only dirty people spring clean.
  84. The computer is a great invention; there are just as many mistakes but they are nobody's fault.

  85. Get your own back; live long enough to be a nuisance to your children.
  86. I don't repeat gossip, so listen carefully the first time.
  87. I must be improving - I make better mistakes than I used to.
  88. Keep the kitchen clean... eat out.
  89. The difference between men and boys is the price of their toys.
  90. Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
  91. A hug is universal... one size fits all.
  92. I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
  93. Laughter is good for you - it's like jogging on the inside.
  94. Mummy won't, Daddy might, but Grandma will.
  95. Seconds count, especially when you're dieting.
  96. When I met 'Mr Right', I didn't know his first name was Always.

  97. A last minute job never last a minute.
  98. Few women admit their age... few men act their's.
  99. Forget love ... I want to fall in chocolate.
  100. If we are what we eat, avoid nuts.
  101. Mothers of little boys work from son up to son down.
  102. When my ship comes in, I'll probably be at the airport.
  103. Beware! The light at the end of the tunnel may be the headlight of an oncoming train.
  104. Children get colds, men get flu, women get on with it.
  105. Friends are like fancy chocolates, it's what's inside that's special.
  106. I don't ski, I'm going downhill fast enough already.
  107. Only Robinson Crusoe could get everything done by Friday.
  108. Retirement - twice the husband on half the money.

  109. A balanced diet is a chocolate in each hand.
  110. Everyone is good for something, even if it is as a bad example.
  111. My children drive me up the wall, but I drive them everywhere else.
  112. Real women don't have hot flushes - they have power surges.
  113. We all have tummies like ironing boards, but some of us have bigger piles of ironing.
  114. When I said 'I do', I didn't mean everything.
  115. A diet is the penalty for exceeding the feed limit.
  116. If you look like your passport photo you probably need the trip.
  117. I miss my husband, but my aim is getting better.
  118. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
  119. My mind works like lightning; one brilliant flash and it's gone.
  120. Young at heart, old everywhere else.

  121. Diets are just wishful shrinking.
  122. Growing old is inevitable; growing up is optional.
  123. I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
  124. If your feet smell and your nose runs, you could be upside down.
  125. Organised people are just too lazy to look for things.
  126. Trust your husband's judgement - just look who he married.
  127. All visitors bring happiness... some by arriving, others by leaving.
  128. Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.
  129. Life is uncertain... eat dessert first.
  130. Love, honour and negotiate.
  131. Modern women don't have grey hairs, they have natural highlights.
  132. Start the day with a smile - get it over with.

  133. Chocolate makes your clothes shrink.
  134. It's not an empty nest until they get their stuff out of the attic.
  135. Keep smiling - it'll make people wonder what you've been up to.
  136. Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way all by myself.
  137. Life is like a toilet roll - the nearer you get to the end the quicker it goes.
  138. You don't stop laughing when you grow old; you grow old when you stop laughing.
  139. How many roads must a man go down... before he admits he is lost?
  140. I don't like four letter words - like dust, iron, cook...
  141. Measure seven times; cut once.
  142. There is a fine line between 'hobby' and 'obsession'.
  143. Wine improves with age. The older I get the better I like it.
  144. Why can't I get a little ahead instead of a bigger behind?

  145. A face without wrinkles is like a book without words.
  146. A true friend thinks you are a good egg even if you're half-cracked.
  147. I have yet to meet a calorie that I don't like.
  148. Knowledge is realising the street is one-way; wisdom is looking both ways anyway.
  149. Money talks, but chocolate sings.
  150. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
  151. Even a slug is a gazelle in the eyes of its mother.
  152. Friends are like bras - they give you lots of support.
  153. If I make lace fast enough does it count as aerobic exercise?
  154. Retired… no job, no stress, no pay.
  155. To do two things at once is to do neither well.
  156. We have rainy days so gardeners can do the housework.

  157. A bargain is something you don't need, at a price you can't resist.
  158. Born free… now I'm expensive.
  159. Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
  160. Hospitality - making your guests feel at home even if you wish they were.
  161. The man who says it can't be done shouldn't interrupt the woman doing it.
  162. The road to success is always under construction.
  163. I dress to kill and cook the same way.
  164. If a woman's work is never done, why start?
  165. I'm not short, I'm fun sized.
  166. My husband needs glasses - he doesn't see things my way.
  167. The trouble with retirement is you never get a day off.
  168. Vegetables are a must on a diet - I suggest carrot cake.

  169. Always put off until tomorrow what you shouldn't do at all.
  170. Birthdays are good for you - those who have most live longest.
  171. Doing what you like is freedom, liking what you do is happiness.
  172. Friends are like antiques - the longer you have them the more precious they become.
  173. If God had wanted us to touch our toes He would have put them on our knees.
  174. I have the mind of an athlete with the body of a genius.
  175. Gardeners don't grow old… they just go to pot.
  176. Of course I don't look busy… I did it right the first time.
  177. It's not a hangover - it's wine 'flu.
  178. May your life be like toilet paper - long and useful.
  179. Retirement - Goodbye tension, Hello pension.
  180. Volunteers are not paid; not because they are worthless but because they are priceless.

  181. A fine is a tax for doing wrong; a tax is a fine for doing well.
  182. I can do what I like so long as I do what I'm told.
  183. I'm not a senior citizen, I'm a recycled teenager.
  184. Middle age is when your legs buckle but your belt doesn't.
  185. My memory is like antique lace - old, worn, intricate and with several threads snapped.
  186. The older I get the better I used to be.